Ok, so my mum and dad broke up a while again due to her cheating on him, they were married for a while and I thought it was all fine and everything was ok, clearly not. now, a couple more years down the line, she's still with him. I don't like him due to what he's done to our family and destroyed it. He's round our house a lot where me, 13, my older sister, 16, and my mum lives. It feels as if he is trying to replace my dad by calling me things like poppet which my dad always used to call me. Because he's always over, i see him more than my actual dad :( My sister says she feels the same. My mum and him have just got engaged and I'm dreading it, I want to say something to my mum but don't want to upset her because I know he makes her happy. What on earth do I do?:(
Female: 13 - 15 Years
You are still very clearly upset by your parents break-up and resent your Mum's new man. It is very unlikely he is trying to take your Dad's place, but just trying to get on with you and your Sister as he and your Mum are going to get married. You need to talk to your Mum and let her know how you and your Sister feel. You also need to reassure your Dad that you still love him and whatever happens that will never change. Adapting to new arrangements at home is never easy and it will take time. The new man in your Mum's life can never replace your Dad and he will know that, but that is no reason why you can't all get along, maybe you need to give him a chance. Good luck.
I am 18 years old and my boyfriend is 19 years old. The problem is also to do with him and not me but I desperately need help. The problem has been lurking for a while now but came to a head when my boyfriend lost his job at Woolworths for obvious reasons. Since then, his parents have been leaving his 3 siblings (one half brother, half sister, and sister) with him when they want to go out. Because he doesn't have work anymore and only college, they do this to him a lot more frequently. His youngest sister is only 8 years old and the problem is mainly with her. Firstly, she lies compulsively to get my boyfriend (her brother) in trouble. She also fights with her half sister who is 10 and I recently had to bring a VAX round to clear up all the water when the two sisters were fighting and they broke a huge fish tank. But the main problem is her lying. For example when the mum and dad come home, she pretends that my bf strangled and hit her when they were gone. My boyfriend does shout at her because as soon as the parents leave she tries to cause trouble by aggravating him, and he also does give her a light hit to warn her not to do it again, but she exaggerates when the parents come home and he always gets in trouble. The parents know that his youngest sister lies 98% of the time, but still they choose to believe her even though he is 19 and very responsible. His mum has even told me "how dare I speak to her children badly" after I told his youngest sister to stop annoying the dog when she was out. As a result I dislike going round to his house because when we look after the kids they always fight...but as I said the main problem is the youngest sister. How do we get her to stop lying like this? My boyfriend is so depressed he has even cried and he is not the type of person to cry. Please help :(
Male: 16 - 19 years
It is not unusual for brothers and sisters to fight and that includes one lying about the other to cause trouble. Your boyfriend needs to try again to talk to his parents about his sister's behaviour when they are not around, he should tell them how much it upsets him, especially how your sister lies to get him into trouble. It must be said though, that he shouldn't be hitting his sister for any reason. You should encourage him to find another job as soon as possible so that he can avoid looking after them as much as he is. He may also find it helpful to start putting things in his diary, so that he is busier. Your boyfriend is very lucky to have someone as caring and understanding as you and for providing him with a shoulder to cry on.
My parents are in the middle of splitting up and because I'm not at school at the moment I have no one to talk to about it... I don't know what to do because I am so angry and its all bottled up inside at the moment and none of my friends seem to understand just how I feel. I have suffered with depression before and got through it and I really don't want to go back to that stage what should I do?
(Female: 16 - 19)
I am really sorry to hear of your problem and the difficulty you are obviously having accepting what is happening. As you say, you need someone to talk to about how you are feeling. I know it sounds like the kind of stuff you hear all the time but I am sure both your parents still love you and it is not your fault. Have you tried talking to your Mum or Dad separately about how you are feeling? They may be so wrapped up in their problems that they hadn't realised how difficult it all is for you or they may be thinking that they are protecting you by not talking to you about it. So have a go at talking to one or both of them. W4Y has made some enquiries about who you can talk to and the best people in your area would be 'Open Door' based in Eastbourne, they have people who you will be able to talk things through with you. You can telephone them on 01323 725155 during the following times: Mondays, between 10am to 12:30pm; Tuesdays, between 2pm to 4:30pm; Wednesdays, between 5pm to 7pm; Thursdays, between 2pm to 4:30pm; and Fridays, 10am to 12:30pm. Or you can call in at 67 Susans Road, Eastbourne during the times listed above. Good Luck.
My parents keep arguing all the time and I don’t know what to do. It used to be silly rows and then they would make up, but now its getting worse and they are becoming distant from each other. I don’t know what I would do if they split up I need them both! What should I do?(Female: 16 – 19)
I can really understand how upsetting it must be to witness two people you love so much starting to fall out. Have you tried talking to your Mum or Dad about your feelings? Sometimes grown-ups get so focussed on their problems they forget how their actions may be affecting those around them. You having a talk with them may make them see things from a different perspective. The one thing you must remember is that although they argue and are becoming more distant from each other, it doesn’t mean that they love you any the less. If the worst happens and they do split-up I am sure both of them will still want to see and spend time with you and both of them will be there for you.
My Mum and Dad keep arguing and shouting at each other and it really upsets me. What can I do? (Female: 12)
I am sorry to hear that your parents are arguing a lot. It is really
upsetting I know.
The most important thing to say is that their rows are most definitely not your fault. Parents row for many reasons. It may be that they are feeling under pressure and worried about something, money for example.
If you have the kind of relationship with your mum and / or Dad that you can talk to them try explaining how the arguing upsets you. Try to keep focused on how the rows make you feel rather than being critical of them.
If you do not feel that you can bring the subject up yourself you could
contact "Time to Talk" who will discuss the possibility of one of their
staff working with you and your parents. 01323 442781.
You could also contact Info Point in Hailsham 01323 843377
My friends are allowed out till really late, but my parents are really
strict and I have to be home by 9. How can I convince them to let me stay out later? (Male:14)
To be honest, and this may not be what you want to hear, I'm with your
parents on this one. Nine o'clock seems a perfectly reasonable time for you
to be in, particularly on a school night. If however, on a holiday or
weekend, something extra special is going on you might be able to persuade
your Mum and Dad to let you out a little later. The kinds of things which
might sway things in your favour are: If a responsible adult is going to be
there; exact info on where you are going to be and with whom and a contact
number.
Also, if in general you behave in a responsible and trustworthy way, the
more likely they are to be a little flexible.
