I try to find a girl. I found one which is in my age. I try to tell her that I love her. She already came to my home. She is poor but I don't know how to continue to love me. What can I do?
Male - 13 - 15 years
Sometimes love takes time to work its magic and you cannot rush these things, nor can you make someone love you. If you try too hard you could put her off. So take things slower, relax and enjoy the relationship you already have with her. Good luck.
I wrote to you before about the boy who use to challenge everything I say. Well today he got me on his own. He said he loved me and then kissed me. Now though he blushes every time he sees me and won't speak to me. I admit I really like him now. Should I make the first move? It's just I'm always worried I'll end up making a complete idiot of myself.
Female: 13 - 15 years
This boy made a move on you by kissing you and he is probably embarrassed, especially if you have not responded in any way - that is why he blushes when he sees you - he doesn't know where he stands. If you like him then you should tell him how you feel and take it from there. Good luck.
I left primary school and also my best friends I have had so much fun with, they were everything to me! I moved school then and I have these friends but I think I'm forgetting all my other friends and two of them are being nasty to me! Help.
Female: 12 - 15 Years
In going to your new school you have made a new circle of friends and the old ones are feeling left out a bit. Two things stand out - firstly if they are your best friends they should not be being nasty to you and secondly some of this sounds like your fault in that you have forgotten about them. You need to talk to them and explain that you are trying to fit in at your new school and are making new friends, but that does not mean that you cannot still be friends with them and that they are still very important to you and you will make time for them too. Good luck.
There's a boy I like but I don't know if he likes me. He always challenges what I say but is constantly truthful and once or twice I've caught him looking at me. What does it mean? Please help me.
Female: 13 - 15 years
It is difficult to know from what you say whether he likes you or not, but you clearly like him. It is a positive sign that he is talking to you and challenges what you say, which shows you he is interested in what you are talking about. Get talking to him some more and if you still like him, you need to pluck up courage and ask him out if you want to. Good luck.
OK here's the scenario. there's a boy I used to have in my class who I sat next to. We talked and everything but my friend says we were flirting. though I don't think we were- we were just talking. At first he didn't smile much but one day he smiled directly at something I said. We moved apart after that but at the moment now and then I see him looking at me. Just generally looking at me- nothing going on at all- but I find it hard to keep eye contact because I blush too easily. My friend says I have a crush on him. Do I?
Female: 13 - 15 years
Only you can answer that question. But it does sound like you fancy him. You need to talk to him more often and if you still like him, pluck up the courage to ask him out. Good luck.
Hey my boyfriend wont "give me it!" I really want to get closer to him but I think its hard when we don't have any physical contact I haven't kissed him yet and we've been going out 3 months I don't know what to do as I don't want him to feel pressured but would really like to get closer to him.
Female 16 19 Years.
This must be really difficult and somewhat frustrating for you and the longer you leave it the less likely it will become physical. Some boys are very shy and find it difficult to make the first move. He may also be scared that if he does make a move and you don't feel the same way about him, he will lose you as a friend. You may have to pluck up courage and make the first move and see how it goes - he will probably be relieved that you have. Good luck I hope it goes well.
I may sound really selfish and slightly paranoid... but I have a best friend and we used too tell each other everything and have no secrets, now there's this other girl who hangs round with us and they live right by each other... there always around each others houses and tell each other everything. i feel mad because she wont admit there best friends and doesn't tell me anything anymore and whenever I stop round hers or we go out she invites her... I don't want too upset them, I just want my best friend back... what do I do?
Female 13 - 15 Years.
It's really tough isn't it when friendships come under threat from others, especially when the person concerned is your best friend. And of course once that happens we don't feel like telling them our inner most secrets and feel that loss, as we all need to be able to talk to someone. However just because your friend has met someone new does not mean she does not still care about you and value your friendship. Maybe you could get to know this new girl and the three of you could spend time together. Sadly we have no control over who people become friends with, so rather than focussing on losing this girl as your best friend, see it as an opportunity to explore other interests try and make even more friends. Good luck
My boyfriend is too obsessive, he makes me cringe, but at the end of the day I don't want to see him with anyone else. Whilst we were getting together I went on holiday and that night he claimed he felt lonely and slept with is ex, this really hurt me and has made me feel as though I can no longer trust him. His ex is apparently a slag and has many rumours about her saying she has sexually transmitted infections. I'm scared I could have caught one as we have done it bare back many of times. We broke up a few days ago and I am not sure whether to get back with him or not, he is begging me to be with him, but to all his friends he is making out I'm a complete bitch. what do I do? PLZ HELP
(Female 16 - 19 years)
Reading between the lines you obviously have huge doubts about your ex boyfriend and by what you say, he doesn't seem very reliable or faithful. He also sounds like a very controlling individual and the more involved you get with him the worse things could get for you. You should trust your instincts and find someone new - you deserve better. You mention that you have had unprotected sex. It is important that you get proper advice and be checked out for sexually transmitted infections. You can go to see your GP or you may prefer to visit a local sexual health clinic. Click on this NHS link and follow the trail by putting in your post code to find your nearest clinic. The website has also some very useful information. NHS clinics are very friendly, understanding and confidential. Good luck!
Hi there. I really need some advice. I met this really nice guy from Spain. I met him and grew to like him and he liked me. When we got back to England we started talking more and almost instantly started dating. The thing is I really like him but when I met him I had a feeling he was a womaniser and have since found out that he had a fling in Spain. I feel that it has put a barrier between us and I find that I'm always thinking about 'this other lady' every time I'm with him. I'm bothered by this because of the fact that we met in Spain and liked each other and so I feel a bit betrayed even though we weren't seeing each other. Am I overreacting and if I am how do I get past this?
(Female: 16 - 19)
It seems to me that your head is telling you one thing and your heart another. I am asking myself why you think he is a womaniser? Many young men like to flirt with women but that doesn't make them a womaniser and as you say, the relationship he had with the other woman was before you were seeing each other. If you really like him then you must learn to trust him or otherwise you will drive him away. Try and stop comparing yourself to 'the other lady', you are worth more than that and it is you he has chosen. Enjoy your relationship, but take it slowly, this will give you time to build up your trust in him. I think you need to work on your own confidence, see the tips on the website for building up your self-esteem, it's under the heading of 'Being Healthy'. Take care.
I have recently come out of a relationship with a man who was 8 years older than me... we got on so well until he joined the army, we couldn't handle the time apart so the relationship ended, since breaking up with him I have discovered I am pregnant with twins and I am so scared. He has now been posted abroad and I am so scared I might not ever see him again, my parents don't want to know me and the only support I have is from my best friend who I live with. Please help!
(Female: 16 - 19)
I am not sure that W4Y can answer your problem on line - but we can offer advice. First and foremost you need to look after your health and that of your unborn children, as you have stated that you are expecting twins, we assume that you have sought the advice of your Family Doctor and the support that he/she can give you from a medical point of view. Secondly, you need someone to talk through the issues with, W4Y has made some enquiries on your behalf. Please contact 'Clued-Up Info' in Crowborough they have trained staff to help you. Telephone 01892 661990 on Mondays, between 2pm to 5pm, Tuesdays, between 2pm to 7pm, Wednesdays, between 11am to 2pm and Thursdays, between 2pm to 5pm. Or you can call in to see them at those times at The Regent, The Broadway, Crowborough, TN6 1DA. They also have a website www.clued-up.info
This guy keeps saying he likes me and says all this stuff but he has a girlfriend and he moved away from her into the UK and lived closer to me but he doesn't wanna break up with his girlfriend what do I do?
(Female: 13 - 15)
Your problem is ringing alarm bells. You state that this guy has moved to the UK to be nearer you, but doesn't want to break up with his girlfriend back home. Not once in your problem have you written how you feel about him. My advice is to steer clear of this guy, he clearly wants the best of both worlds and you are worth more than that. Good luck.
Basically I have this friend called X(w4y removed the name) and he is going out with another girl in my school. They have been together since last November and like get on really well, but when out at night they wouldn't spend much time together but still are the cutest couple. Since I moved to that school I have liked him and we would always end up having random drunken talks when out and like he was always mean to me, but it was more a mean because I like you. But I didn't realise that my best friend was noticing it, so warned me to keep away because his current girlfriend could destroy me if I went near him. So I kept my distance but that didn't make any difference, he would have always some how end up talking to me. Just before his 18th party he was asking me who in the year was I going to get with and I was like nobody and he said I could get with him but I laughed it all off. At his girlfriend's party, she had a huge 18th in her house, it was a class night until I was walking back into the house when he called me off and we went walking! I ended up hooking up with him that night and she still doesn't know. Now he won't talk 2 me at all. I was the one who pulled away saying this can't happen but it doesn't make a difference and now his girlfriend is getting close 2 me which isn't good. Any help on that?
(Female: 16 - 19)
It seems to me that the boy you are talking about wants the best of both worlds - to have a relationship with his girlfriend and also see you. You need to tell him that you do not want to get involved with him until and unless he is free to get involved with you. Otherwise you will end up hurting his current girlfriend and getting hurt yourself. But one note of caution - you must ask yourself, if he can cheat on his girlfriend, what's to say he won't pull the same trick on you. By what you tell me this young man needs to decide what he wants. If he can't make his mind up, then you are best not getting involved at all. Good luck.
My boyfriend has recently passed his driving test and I am scared when I get in the car with him as he goes too fast and shows off to his mates. I really like him and I don't want him to think I am pathetic and lose him, but I am really scared. What can I do? (Female: 17)
You could try telling your boyfriend, at the time, that you feel sick and to slow down. On a more practical note you might like to point out how rapidly the cost of his insurance will fall with each year he goes without a prang. On the other hand it will soar to entirely impractical proportions if an insurance claim is made. If he does not mend his ways then I am not going to mince my words. Experience shows that many young male drivers are renowned for taking risks. You need to tell him that he is not going to take risks with your life – if his driving doesn’t improve then finish your relationship with him – you are worth more.
I have been in a 4 month relationship and want to end it, but if I say it to the face they might not like me at all, but I can’t do it by text, it’s too harsh, help me!!!
(Female: 13 – 15 years)
It’s never easy ending a relationship, but equally if you think it’s not going anywhere or you are unhappy then there is no point in continuing with it. You are obviously a caring person and I am sure you will come over as such when you finish it. I agree with you, ending a relationship by text is a very harsh and an unkind way to do it. You need to pluck up courage, arrange to meet your boyfriend – I’d choose somewhere where there are other people around, but also somewhere where others cannot hear what you are talking about – do you know what I mean, but of course you are one of the best people to know how your boyfriend will react. Explain how you feel and be strong if he tries to persuade you to change your mind. You can never control how he will feel about you after you have told him, but you cannot live your life worrying what ex-boyfriends will think about you. He may be upset, especially if he loves you, but reading between the lines you are a caring person and you will be able to deal with that and he will too given time. Good luck and be strong.
I like this bloke a lot and he said he wanted to go out with me, but I know he has come out of a year relationship and she mucked his head up and I understand that he doesn't want another one at the moment. We are together but I wanna tell him how I feel but I can't, what shall I do?
(Female: 16 - 19)
You obviously care for this lad a lot and he is lucky to have someone so thoughtful and with his best interests at heart. There is always a risk of getting too involved too quickly with someone who has just come out of a long-term relationship - it may end up with your feelings getting hurt. It sounds as if you are being there for him and being a good friend. Take things slowly, being good mates with someone is always a sound basis for a relatiohsip. There is a risk that if you do tell him how you feel, he may think that you are putting pressure on him and walk away. Enjoy your friendship and take things slowly, that's my advice.
I am usually a fairly confident person but when it comes to girls I am the opposite. I have met a girl and really like her. We have been out a few times and I really want to kiss her and stuff but always bottle it at the last moment. If I don’t do something soon she may think I don't fancy her and stop seeing me. Can you offer any help?
(Male: 16)
If this girl has gone out with you a few times she obviously likes you too. She possibly feels a bit shy, and to be honest, I do think most girls expect boys to make the first move. Try for something really tame to begin with, perhaps a slow dance, maybe take her hand in the cinema or if you are walking, or kiss her on the cheek goodnight. If she responds positively take things from there. There is absolutely no harm in not rushing these things but as you say, you want her to know that you like her.
As I say, it sounds as though she likes you too, so be brave and good luck.
I am really good friends with a girl the same age as me and I want to take the relationship further as I really fancy her but am scared of losing her as a friend. This is really eating me up, I can't stop thinking about her. What should I do?
(Male: 15)
Good friends are very precious. If the two of you become an item and split up you may well lose her as a friend. Having said that, friendship is a good basis for a relationship. I think perhaps you should have a chat with her and see how she feels. It is possible that she feels the same way and then the two of you can decide the best way forward. If she doesn't fancy you and sees you only as a friend, I predict difficult times ahead as she has relationships with other people. I definately think a heart to heart is called for.
Good Luck.
I have been going out with my boyfriend for about a month and I really like him. Now he has asked if we can have sex but I don't want to yet, but if I don't I may lose him. What should I do? (Female: 15)
The most important thing in your email, the thing that jumps out of the page is, " but I don't want to yet ".
If you are not ready, then no matter what, it's best to wait. Trust your instincts.
If your boyfriend really is nice he won't mind at all. In fact he may well be secretly relieved. Boys are subject to pressure to be having sex and to admit to not being ready or worried about it, isn't seen as very macho. So, you might well be doing him a favour.
I have just found out that my best friend is moving away. We really
get on well and talk about anything. What am I going to do? (Male: 14)
I am sorry to hear that your friend is moving away, it's sad when we become
separated from people that we are close to.
However, all is not lost! In these times of modern technology you will
still be able to talk to your friend, all be it electronically. If you don’t
have access to email or msm at home pop into a library or The Square café
in Hailsham if you live near there. Or you could write an old fashioned letter and post it.
In the meantime, I'm sure your school runs many after school clubs. Why not
join some? They provide an excellent opportunity to pursue interests and
make new friends at the same time.
I really fancy this boy, he's really fit, but how can I get him to
notice me?
(Female: 16)
Well, if you are feeling really brave go up to him, introduce yourself and
ask him out! If however, you are like most of us and not quite that
confident make a point of smiling at him when you see him. If you do get the
opportunity to talk to him make the most of it. Tell him your name and ask
him his. Try to find out what his interests are, and the kinds of places he
goes. Perhaps you could then "bump into" him out socially somewhere
Good luck !
