I'm a 16 year old girl who for years has struggled with weight issues and mood swings. Although I have never been properly 'fat' I have constantly battled against rapid weight gain and gone through short periods of throwing up after meals. I find that I am around 1 stone over my ideal weight right now and would love to lose it but I cannot seem to stop myself from binging on fatty foods. This then sometimes leads to me purging and being in a state of depression. My metabolism is extremely low due to a series of crash diets and I hate exercising as I have an excessive amount of leg muscle. I hate every single part of my body, my flat chest, ugly hideous face, horrible wonky yellow teeth and fat body. please help I just don't know what to do I feel like I want to vomit when I look at myself.
(Female: 16 - 19 years)
The problems you describe can affect anybody and many young people sometimes feel low and sad for no reason at all - so you are not alone. We often look to food, something we can control, to deal with issues that we feel we have no control over. It is not uncommon for young people to be anxious and have all sorts of worries fears and phobias. The good news is that most people manage to work through their worries, but occasionally some people need to seek professional help. If you can talk to your mum she might be able to help support you through this, you will be surprised what mums know, after all they were young once!!!
If you are finding it hard to control your weight and continue to feel very low it may be a good idea to talk to your GP. You will be surprised how sympathetic and helpful they will be. If problems that persist are ignored they can get worse.
It is important to eat a balanced diet and regular meals. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and if eaten regularly will encourage the metabolism to work more effectively. Excessive dieting and weight loss can be harmful to your body.
Quite often we only see yourself as horrible when actually others see us very differently. Every one of us is different and it is not only our outward appearance that makes us attractive.
It is important for every one to have regular dental checks and your dentist would be able to advise you on how to make the most of your smile. Maybe you could get together with friends and have a girl’s night to share your feelings and find out how other people cope. You could also spend some time pampering each other painting each other’s nails and giving each other a different hairstyle etc. You will be surprised at how much fun this is and what you learn about yourself from your friends.
If you want some more information try these two websites on young minds and self-help guide.
Good luck - you will be able to work through this.
I have seen a lot on the news about the flu and it really scares me. Is it as bad as they say?
(Male: 13 - 15 years)
It's quite normal to be upset and frightened by what you hear on the news. It's in the news because this type of Flu is new and these things don't happen very often. Also a lot of people are catching it around the world. It is too early to say if is going to be as bad as they say on the news. The positive part is that those who have got it recently seem to be only experiencing milder symptoms. W4Y has put together a question and answer page to help you.
I like kissing boys and I am scared I might catch flu.
(Female: 13 - 15 years)
You certainly could get flu from kissing, but whoever you're kissing would have to have flu in the first place to be able to pass it on. Try to avoid kissing others if they are ill or feeling under the weather. W4Y has put together a question and answer page to help you.
I always feel tired fed up and don’t even want to get up in the morning I don’t want to eat I’m just so fed up I could go to sleep forever.
Female 16 - 19.
I am very sorry to learn that you are feeling so fed -up and tired. Reading between the lines you appear to have no energy for anything. I think it’s really important that you do two things. Firstly I think you need to see either your Doctor or School Nurse, just so they can check there is nothing physically wrong with you. Some conditions affect us in a very strange way. Secondly you may have something on your mind, this too can affect the way you feel, so I think you should see a trained professional who will be able to help you look at why you are feeling the way you are. Approach someone like a youth worker, teacher or visit a young persons advice centre. You may like to confide in a trusted adult or professional you know and let them help you make appointments to see someone. Good luck.
I have smoked for nearly four years and want to quit, but I don’t feel I can without nicotine patches. They are too expensive, I don’t have that kind of money. What should I do?
(Male: 13 – 15 years)
Good for you! Quitting is a very cool idea and will be fab news for your health in the long term. The tobacco companies make billions every year out of smokers – don’t give them any more of your cash. Also if you quit, you won’t have to deal with the smell, the bad breath, the nicotine-stained fingers – and your sex appeal will go up instantly!
So, what about these patches. If you go to your GP (Doctor) they will give them to you on prescription. Prescriptions are free for under 16 year olds and this offer continues until you are 19 if you are in full time education. They should give you at least two week supply. Anyone who is over 12 years old can use patches, or gum or lozenges – they all work in the same way and give you a safe, steady amount of nicotine while you are quitting. If you have any problems, call your local stop smoking service free on 0800 917 8896 or speak to your school nurse. Good luck!
My head went really red and itchy when I last dyed my hair. Can you suggest what's wrong?
(Female: 15)
It is possible that you are developing an allergy or reaction to the hair dye. This can be dangerous as repeated exposure to an allergen (in this case something in the dye), could result in a very dangerous reaction - termed an anaphylactic shock - which can be fatal. So it is very important that you perform a skin test before you use the dye again. This can be done by mixing a small amount of the dye and placing it on your skin, leaving it there and seeing what happens. The manufacturer will explain this in detail in the instructions, and these may vary from product to product, so it is very important to read the instructions carefully everytime.
It is also a good idea to visit your family doctor who can look at your head and advise you.
I have started to notice that my friend is losing weight and is getting very picky with her food. I am really worried about her and when I ask about her lack of eating she just says she's not hungry and changes the subject. Do I need to worry and is there anything I can do to help
her.
(Female: 16)
I can understand that you are worried about your friend not eating and her change in behaviour. When people we care about act differently it can be very confusing, but she is lucky to have a friend like you who wants to help her.
You may want to share this worry by talking to someone that you feel comfortable with in telling. You could go and see your school nurse at her lunchtime drop in session at school. She can listen to you in confidence and suggest ways of helping. If you could tell your friend that you are worried about her then you could suggest that you go and see the school nurse together. The possible reason for her not eating could be complicated and she may need the help of an expert.
My boyfriend drinks and drives. He says its ok because he doesn’t feel drunk. What is the safe limit?
(Female: 17)
Your boyfriend is just kidding himself. Even though he does not feel drunk alcohol will slow his responses and reaction time. So you are putting yourself at risk if you get in the car with him.
The official limit is 80mg per 100 millilitres of blood. But this does not take into account the size of the person or other factors. As there is no safe way of calculating this, it is better not to drink any alcohol when driving.
You need to advise him, that he risks losing his license or worse still killing or injuring someone and THAT MIGHT JUST BE YOU!
I have just got back from the Doctors and he said he is going to send me to see a Hospital Doctor because I may have to have my tonsils out. I’ve never been to hospital before and I am really scared. What will happen?
(Female: 13)
W4Y went straight to the Eastbourne District General Hospital on your behalf and this is what they said…
Try not to be frightened, we will look after you when you come to the hospital.
Your doctor would have referred you to see a doctor at the hospital probably because you have been suffering with sore throats that keep coming back or tonsillitis. The doctor at the hospital will have a look at you and your throat and have a chat with you and decide if your tonsils need to be removed to stop the sore throats. Tonsils are generally removed as they do not always shrink back down to their normal size after infections. This can then cause attacks of sore throats which last longer, can be worse and will be more painful.
Leading up to the operation date (which may be a few weeks wait); you will be seen in a clinic called a Pre Assessment clinic. Here you will see a nurse who will ask you and the adult with you a number of questions about your general health and wellbeing. The nurse can then decide if you can have your operation as a day case, in other words you can go home the same day as your operation or whether you have to stay in hospital for a little longer. The nurse will also explain what will happen on the day of you operation. You will also receive a booklet to take home and read telling you all about your operation. Every 2nd Saturday of the month, Friston Ward hold a Saturday club for children of all ages. Here the nurses will tell you what to expect about going to theatre and your stay in Friston Ward.
After your operation you will be given regular painkillers to help with the pain. The best thing to aid a quick recovery is to start eating and drinking as normal as soon as you can and carry on doing so while you recover.
Once you go home from hospital you will have to have 2 weeks off school and avoid going to crowded places where there may be people with coughs and colds. You will need to take the painkillers given to you regularly during the 2 weeks. After all of this you won’t have tonsillitis again!
Good luck and don’ forget to ask any questions if you are unsure of anything. The staff here at the hospital understand how nervous you will be feeling – we will look after you.
My parents are always nagging at me to go to bed when I am not tired. Then they want me to get up when I am sleeping. I need lots of sleep, why can’t my parents just leave me under my duvet? (Female: 15)
You are quite right that teenagers need a lot of sleep – research shows you need at least nine hours per night. Parents are on a different biological clock to their children. Adult bodies wind down and are ready for sleep at about 10.30, while teenage bodies are often alert until 1am (Circadian rhythm). Getting into good habits now will last a life-time. As you are becoming adults, this is a good opportunity to sit down and discuss the issue with your parents to prove you can have a mature attitude.
You need regular exercise and to eat at least 2 hours before bed-time to allow your body to digest the food properly. You should refrain from drinks with caffeine after 8pm. You can’t catch up on missed sleep – you need to have good habits 7 days a week. If you follow a relaxing routine before bedtime it will help you sleep. Check your bed is right for you – you are growing rapidly and might need a new mattress or pillows. You might need soothing music and to feel cool and safe. Leave a small window open for fresh air and play music softly.
If your school or work commitments mean you have to be up at 8, you need to be in bed by 11. If at first you can’t sleep, you are relaxing and training your body, and the routine will soon start to give you more energy and brain power.
Lack of sleep can lead to moodiness, impulsivity and depression. Your parents want you to be healthy and happy, they can spot when you are needing an early night – and once in a while doesn’t help you catch up – and sleeping till 2pm gives you no quality sleep.
If you are trying to go to bed and feeling like an insomniac, sleeping late and getting up feeling rough – you need to take better care of yourself – and reset your biological clock.
More information is available through the Sleep Council website.
I am feeling mega stressed right now. I’ve got my exams at the moment and I am worrying so much I can’t sleep. Then in the morning I am really tired and don’t want to get up. What can I do? (Male: 16)
It’s a horrible feeling isn’t it? Believe it or not stress is a useful emotion that helps us prepare for difficult times and perform better. However it is not useful when it’s in overload. Not sleeping is classic sign of stress overload.
Try these tips to see if they help you:
- Plan your study time well and try to not do too much at once (have a timetable). Have lots of breaks whilst studying.
- Have regular meals and drink well.
- Excercise regularly as this will help with stress and will increase your oxygen intake, which is good for your brain.
- Find ways to relax each day before bed – such as listening to music or have a bath.
- Try a warm milky drink before bed it really does work!!!
- Go to bed at a sensible time and set your alarm for the morning.
- Once you are in bed with lights off (and tv, radio etc), concentrate on slowing your breathing down, tensing your muscles then relaxing each one will help calm the body and mind.
- Let your parents know you are having difficulty sleeping- this will mean they can be understanding if you are not your usual cheerful self!!!
